Fleeing to the Rock
Last week, for the first time since beginning my mommy-ing adventures here at Casa de Amor House 3, it happened.
I just wanted to scream, to cry, to pull my hair out.
It was one of those days...and then some.
For starters, I was suffering from an acute eye infection that had attacked my eye the night before and caused my whole body to feel achy and sick. Not a good way to start the day, let me assure you. Additionally, the day was gray and rainy. Going outside was not an option, which meant the children seemed to be bouncing off the walls. Little A, who is (supposed to be) potty training, had four accidents in two hours. Each one was literally five minutes after she got up from trying to go in the potty. On top of everything, everyone seemed extra cranky and clingy and loud and....yeah. I was about to go crazy.
My patience slipped away faster and faster with each accident I wiped up off the floor until finally, I threw my hands in the hair and declared surrender to the potty war. Little A wore a diaper the rest of the day. My sanctification was at stake.
Seriously, I just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep the day away with the rain pattering on the roof.
But I couldn't. Five little lives needed me. Thanksgiving preparations had to be attended to.
I knew I needed a sanity check. A few moments of peace and quiet before I really did scream. Or melt into a pile of tears.
And I knew there was only one place to find it.
Declaring a morning rest time for all my whiney little people, I tucked the girls into their beds (despite their crying protests to this sudden idea) and settled the boys quietly with books. Almost desperately, I grabbed my Bible from off my nightstand and raced down the stairs to the living room where I could be farthest from the noise.
To the Rock I fled, seeking refuge, seeking peace, seeking strength. And as He promises to do when we seek Him and cry out to Him, He met me in my time of need. His Word spoke life into my weary soul and His Spirit calmed my frazzled nerves.
My Daily Light passage assured me:
"The Spirit helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God."
The Book of Psalms, a constant source of comfort, reminded me:
"Be not far from me, O Lord: O my strength, haste to help me." (Psalm 22:19)
The Lord is not far from me in this place. He is right here. He is my strength. He will haste to help me make it through the day with love and cheerfulness.
"Ye that fear the Lord, praise Him; all ye the seed of Jacob, glorify Him...For He hath not despised nor abhorred the affliction of the afflicted; neither hath He hid His face from Him; but when he cried unto Him, He heard." (Psalm 22:24)
The secret is in the praising. God has not neglected me though I feel afflicted by this sickness and these circumstances. I have cried to Him and He has heard!
"I will praise Thee forever because Thou hast done it! (Psalm 52:9)
I will praise the Lord, because He will be the One to do it today!
"Defend the poor and fatherless; do justice to the afflicted and needy." (Psalm 82:3)
This is why I am here, after all.
"His heart is fixed trusting in the Lord." (Psalm 112:7)
So is my heart; fixed upon the Lord, trusting in Him to be my strength and song today.
It was only fifteen, maybe twenty minutes that I spent communing with the Lord and receiving from His life-giving Word. But, oh, how this fifteen minute respite in the Haven of Rest ministered to my spirit and gave me the strength to go on!
The rest of the day didn't get any easier. The rain still poured. Every little task was an effort, and prayers for patience were a moment-by-moment occurrence. But I rejoice to say that God was faithful to His Word. He was with me. He heard my cries. And it comforted me greatly to know His Holy Spirit was interceding for me in ways I couldn't even imagine as I tried to mother my little brood in the ways they needed.
Fleeing to the Rock is truly the best answer to a day that seems to be falling apart.