Amazing Grace

I read this passage in my daily Bible reading the other morning and it just gripped my heart so deeply I wanted to share it here:

"For we ourselves also were sometimes

foolish,
disobedient, 
deceived,
serving divers lusts and pleasures,
living in malice and envy,
hateful,
and hating one another.

But after that the KINDNESS and LOVE of God our Savior toward man appeared,

NOT by works of righteousness which WE have done, 

but according to HIS MERCY He saved us, 

by the washing of regeneration,
and renewing of the Holy Ghost;
which He shed on us ABUNDANTLY through Jesus Christ our Savior;

That being justified by HIS GRACE, we should be made HEIRS according to the hope of eternal life."
Titus 3:3-7 (emphasis added)

Do you see yourself in that first list? I know I do.
Foolish...disobedient...deceived...serving my own pleasures. This was certainly me before God used His Word when I was 14 to open my blind eyes and show me my need for a Savior!

I am so, so, so grateful for that kindness and love that characterizes my God! I am deeply thankful for the fact that my eternal destiny does not rest on my own righteousness...because if it did, I would be in dire straits. Rather, HIS righteousness now covers me and clothes me...because of HIS MERCY to save me through HIS SON, Jesus, my Savior. He has justified me by HIS GRACE - grace = that which I don’t deserve!

And not only am I forgiven...not only am I saved from His wrath (which I do deserve)...not only am I justified and made completely righteous in His sight...but He has made me His very own HEIR. Wow. Wow. Wow. And one day I shall see this amazing God of mine face to face and get to live with Him forever in the beauty of His holy presence.

THIS, my friends, blows my mind and makes me want to worship Him forever.

Reflections on Motherhood

A friend shared this graphic many weeks ago and it really resonated with me. So often, I feel pulled in many directions, and there is always a “to-do” list in my head that seems a mile long, which can result in feelings of being discouraged and overwhelmed if I let it. With 4 little children 4 and under, including a nursing baby, who all have MANY needs, with meals to crank out, dishes to then wash, laundry to keep on top of, spills to clean up, floors to vacuum and sweep, homeschooling lessons to teach, a toddler to keep out of mischief, a Plexus business to maintain, church ministries to prepare for, a husband to help, chickens to care for, flowers to water, and, oh yes - I must get some sleep too! ....it can be hard to take the time to SLOW down, put the tasks on hold, and just BE with my children. To simply delight in their delights. To have fun with them and not just dish out instructions, discipline, and lectures all day long. I am really trying to be intentional about savoring these little years. To let my toddler push the buttons on the washing machine and watch his little face light up with a grin. To push my oldest on the swing so his feet touch the branches of the tree and he feels exhilarated. To let my 3-year-old cook in the kitchen even when it means the job takes longer and will get messier. To slow down long enough to talk to my baby and watch him giggle. I really believe there is great truth in the words of this picture. Now, to live it out every day; that is my heart’s desire! All I can say is, praise God for His beautiful, wonderful grace, which gives strength and hope in the midst of the craziness of life!

The Silent Struggle

This blog post has been brewing in my thoughts for several months now.  I keep putting off the writing of it for many reasons, but the time has come to do some sharing of a very personal nature.  For anyone reading this post, I want you to know that this sharing comes from the desire to bring help and hope to others who might be struggling in a similar way to what I have experienced.

Anyone who has been a long-time blog reader of this little corner on the web may recall a post I wrote back in 2013 that can be referenced here for the background to what I will write about tonight: http://livingforjesus85.blogspot.com/2013/06/hard-times-honest-confessions-and-hope.html  In this post, I detailed the hard lessons of an ongoing health problem that was the result of child birth.  Little did I know at the time of that writing that it was only the beginning of my journey.

Allow me to continue the story...

When I wrote that blog post, I was three months into a daily struggle with hemorrhoids.  Two more months would pass of off and on pain, discouragement, and experiments with any possible remedy to bring permanent relief from the most excruciating agony I had ever endured.  Finally, at long last, the answer came through the midwife who had delivered my baby and whom I "happened" to bump into in town one day.  "Have you tried magnesium?" she asked.  It wasn't the first time I had heard of magnesium as a possible aid in healing, but for some reason unknown to me now, I had forgotten about the idea or been unwilling to try it on top of the myriad of other things on my list of experiments.  This time, I decided to give it a try since I had nothing to lose...and lo and behold, after about 3 days of being on the supplement, I experienced noticeable relief.  A week went by...two weeks.  The hemorrhoids (which never go away from one's body once you get them) had at last retreated into silence.  No longer did they scream with pain every day.  No longer did they take over my life with the all-consuming drive to be free of their shackles.  At a time when I had begun to wonder if I would ever know the meaning of "normal life" again, God provided the answer to my prayers in the form of a small, white pill available for a few dollars at the local pharmacy.

Enter child birth number two.  An early baby, a smaller baby, a delivery that was practically pain-free and involved 3 minutes of pushing instead of 3 hours...and absolutely zero problems with hemorrhoids in the weeks that followed.  I was ecstatic and full of praise to the Lord!  By this point, magnesium was simply a part of my daily life and had armed me with confidence that I would forever be okay.

Enter child birth number three.  A little more pushing involved this time...maybe 20 minutes?  Maybe a big longer?  The specifics are a bit fuzzy.  (One day, I still plan to write his birth story here, or at least what I remember of it!)  A few weeks went by...no hemorrhoids.  I was so very grateful.  Then, we moved across the country.  I'm not sure if it was three days of sitting in the car, the weird things that traveling can do to one's digestive system, or the stress of moving with three children two years old and under, but for some reason, the hemorrhoids manifested themselves once again.  Despite my initial discouragement, I wasn't overly worried.  I thought to myself,  "I've fought these enemies before and won (by the grace of God); surely, we can win this battle again!"  Thankfully, at the time, my sweet friend, Rachel Horvath, was staying with us to help with the move, the children, and the unpacking.  She had two weeks left in her stay when the hemorrhoids reared their ugly heads, so my goal was to see them dormant by the time her two weeks' was up.

Once again, I started in on my regimen of natural remedies.  (I didn't even bother with a doctor appointment this time as I knew the excruciating pain that would bring and the prescription for topical creams that had not resulted in any kind of lasting relief the previous time.)  I upped my magnesium dosages considerably.  I increased my fiber and water intake.  I took sitz baths.  I applied essential oils topically.  I took a probiotic.  Much to my surprise, nothing I tried worked this time!  As the days went by and the pain raged, the worry started to creep in.  Why wasn't my body responding to the same treatments it had before?  Feverishly, I scoured the internet for any and all natural home remedies I could try to overcome hemorrhoids.  I tried apple cider vinegar treatments in various forms.  I tried tumeric powder mixed with olive oil.  I lived on IB Profen.  Dozens of experiments later, and still, nothing worked for longer than a day or two.

Rachel's visit came to an end and I was left with the full responsibility of running the household and caring for my three little people while suffering with debilitating pain most days.  It was rough, yet God was certainly my strength and my stay.  He gave me the ability to keep going one day at a time.

People at church would ask me all the time how I was doing.  There were a few I confided in with the truth and even asked prayer of the lady's Sunday school class, but overall, hemorrhoids are a silent struggle.  It's embarrassing and incredibly personal to talk about.  I didn't know very many people well enough in our new location to feel comfortable sharing what was really going on in my life at the time.  I was embarrassed to have to carry around a donut-shaped pillow stuffed into a pillow case to sit on everywhere I went, knowing it was likely causing questions in people's minds as they watched me.  My husband was supportive and helpful, but busy in a new ministry, and my family was deeply sympathetic, but couldn't do much from afar except listen and pray.  I could do little but cling to God and keep trying anything that might bring relief.

The struggle stretched on for the course of 7 months...longer even than the first go-round!  Thankfully, the pain wasn't constant for those 7 months.  It was off and on, though mostly on, and there were even some days I considered very manageable.

Finally, as a last resort, I decided to try some products from a health and wellness company called Plexus.  Both my brother-in-law and a close friend had used their supplements for various needs in the past, so when a different friend started posting about Plexus on Facebook regularly, I was already vaguely familiar with the name.  The more she posted, the more I grew curious as to whether these supplements could possibly aid in a full recovery from my hemorrhoids.  I was very skeptical at first, though (due to the fact that Plexus is a multi-level-marketing style company, which I had always stayed away from in the past), and took weeks - if not months - of research and thinking to finally take the plunge and give their products a try.  Desperate times call for desperate measures!

Since my brother-in-law is an Ambassador for Plexus, I started out ordering the supplements I wanted from him with the 60-day money-back guarantee firmly in place.  I began with a combo package called Tri-Plex.  Each of the three products that make up the Tri-Plex are aimed at "replenishing beneficial microorganisms, restoring healthy gut lining, and maintaining a healthy immune system."  (I had also heard they could help with balancing blood sugar, which I figured might improve my energy levels.)  I eased my way into each of the three products so as not to overwhelm my body with too much detoxifying at first, and because I was nursing a baby and didn't want to overwhelm his system.

Much to my surprise and delight, the products worked -- and quickly!  Merely three days into taking the BioCleanse supplement, which is a more powerful form of magnesium than I was taking, combined with additional vitamins, I experienced tremendous relief!  Next, I incorporated the ProBio 5 high quality probiotic.  After two or three weeks of being on just these two supplements, the hemorrhoid pain had totally and completely gone!  Lastly, I added the Slim product and was excited to see how it continued to aid in cleansing and digestion as well as the balanced blood sugar and stable energy I had been hoping for as time went on.

I wish I could accurately communicate how deeply grateful and terribly excited I was to find supplements that allowed my body to heal from The Silent Struggle that had again consumed so much of my life for the previous 7 months!  During that time, the Lord built into my heart a new compassion for people who live with chronic pain...yet, when the end finally came, I was so thankful to be freed from the chronic pain that had tortured my body and to return to being a fully engaged wife and mom.

A few months into using the Plexus products as a customer of my BIL, I finally signed up to become an Ambassador myself in order to benefit from the wholesale pricing available on all products.  I also wanted to become an Ambassador in case it allowed me the opportunity to share about Plexus with others who might benefit from these products.

And that is why I break the silence now to share the rest of my story.  Plexus happens to be offering free shipping on all their products for a few days right now...so I thought, what better time to tell people about them?  Maybe, just maybe, there is someone out there who is also struggling with a challenging health problem and has tried everything on the market to no avail.  Maybe, just maybe, Plexus can help them too.

The best way I can describe Plexus products in a nut shell would be dietary supplements made from clean ingredients, many of them plant-based, that aim to help people experience and maintain a cleansed and healthy gut, stable blood sugar, healthy weight management, and a body that functions well and feels good overall.  Since so many different ailments and immune system problems originate in our guts, the signature Plexus products start here by helping to clean things out and support the production of good gut flora.  As a result, people all across the world have a wide spectrum of different testimonies regarding how Plexus helped them achieve optimum health including some very serious health struggles.

However, Plexus is not just intended for those with serious problems.  I know a number of people who are benefitting from the products simply for daily health maintenance purposes and for keeping their immune systems strong because of a healthy gut.  As I've been expecting a baby now while taking these supplements, I've been very pleased to not struggle (for the first time!) with blood sugar dips and light-headedness/faintness at various times of day as I have in the past.  In other words, the benefits come in all shapes and sizes! :)

Because Plexus products are dietary supplements, they have "not been evaluated by the FDA and are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease," just the same as any other other vitamin or natural health product on the market.

If you or anyone you know would be interested in learning more about Plexus products, you can read about them at this web link under the Products tab: http://shopmyplexus.com/katrinabritton/index.html

There are three ways to order for those who might want to give these products a try, all of which have a 60-day money-back guarantee connected with them:
1) Retail
2) Preferred Customer
3) Ambassador

With Retail, you will pay the highest price, but you only have to make a one-time purchase.

Being a Preferred Customer means that you get the second-best price, but you are put on a monthly auto-ship schedule, which some may or may not prefer.  The good news with this is that you can cancel at any time you don't want a monthly order - no strings attached!  After three month's orders in a row, you receive a 10% discount on all future products.

The third way to order is as an Ambassador.  In the long run, this is the least expensive way to order as you get everything at wholesale price.  You do have to pay a yearly membership fee, which is about $35 right now, but you also have the chance to build a business out of it if you so desire.

Tax and shipping will have to be paid for all products ordered, but is not included in the pricing until checkout.  That's one reason the free shipping promotion being offered right now through October 17th is such a sweet deal!  For those wanting to take advantage of it, you will need this code at checkout: OCTSHIP

This blog post has certainly grown long!  If you've stuck with me this far, you are to be commended. :)  I don't usually get this vulnerable in the public eye, but it's worth it to me if just one person can be helped during our earthly sojourn.  Of course, heaven is the only place we will be free of all pain and suffering, and I look forward to being with the Lord Jesus there one day!  Most importantly, I am His ambassador, so if you have questions about your eternal destination, I would love to share more with you in that regard too.

In the meantime, if Plexus products might aid or benefit your health journey during this life time, I would encourage you to check into them!

Gospel-Centered Mothering

I recently joined a book club organized by some local homeschooling moms.  We had our first meeting this past Saturday, and the fellowship was most enjoyable!  Several weeks ago, when one of the club hostesses told me the title of the book that would be discussed, my attention was immediately piqued!  Treasuring Christ When Your Hands Are Full.  Yes, yes, yes!  That's me!  My hands are definitely full, yet I long to treasure Christ more.

As soon as I began reading this book, I was blown away by how much Scripture was quoted on just about each page.  It was such a refreshing read because every thought, every concept was beautifully interwoven with verse after verse from God's Word.  Familiar verses I've read dozens of time came alive in new ways because of being paired with other verses or thoughts from the author as she related them to grace, and specifically, grace in mothering.

I read this book quickly in order to be finished in time for the club meeting.  However, I would like to go back and read it more slowly the second time to truly savor the truths found in its chapters.  For now, my major take-aways include: 

~ The importance of confessing my sin to my children when I lose my patience with them and speak unkindly.  This is something I should have started doing a long time ago, but for some reason, I tended to justify my wrong reactions to my children's misbehavior because of what they were doing that "provoked" my impatience.  Real mature, huh?  The author shared something similar from her life, and it convicted me.  I have recently tried to be more sensitive to my tone of voice and moments when I don't have the right response and ask forgiveness of my little ones.  It's been amazing to see Isaac's little eyes light up when Mommy asks forgiveness, just as I've taught him to do, and how willingly and graciously he is ready to give it.

~ How integral the Gospel is to mothering.  It's not just about salvation and a starting place for everything else in my walk with God but about so much more, including mothering.  I wish I could elaborate on this point more clearly, but I've tried three times and not found the words.  Perhaps some of the below quotes will lend further insight into what I'm trying to say here.

~ How beautiful grace is, and how very much of it God has available for my every day, every need, every moment!  I came to a renewed, refreshed understanding of the phrase I've heard so often, "My grace is sufficient for thee."  As I understand better and lean more fully on the grace of God, that grace can then pour forth to my children. 

~ My need to lean on the Lord completely, trusting in Him for the kindness, the patience, the delight I want to have for my children.  He is my unlimited resource for all things that pertain to life and Godliness and victorious mothering!

And now for some quotes I highlighted from my first read-through of Treasuring Christ When Your Hands are Full:

The Gospel stands above and beyond all the most practical, family-friendly, or cost effective philosophies of mothering.  

When Jesus rescued me from hell, he also rescued me to himself.  

“Truly alone” time with the Lord is a gift.  But so are the times when you’re ring-mastering your family circus.  The Lord is just as near to you when you’re using a bulb sucker on a tiny, congested nose and as you’re summoning the wisdom of Solomon to settle a spat over a disputed toy.

It is this love - the love of Christ - that compels Christian mothers to love their children.  The love of Christ in her heart is what overflows when a mother speaks kindly to her children even when they don’t speak kindly back.

A mother’s Spirit-empowered sacrificial love is what enables her to willingly complicate her life for the sake of her children.

Consider how the Lord Jesus Christ willingly and cheerfully complicated His life so that He could share His life with us.  Although He was in the form of God, He “did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.  And being found in human form, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross” (Phil. 2:6-8).  As if becoming God incarnate wasn’t humbling enough for the Creator, this innocent author of life further humbled himself by allowing himself to be crucified like a criminal.

There are times when we are not motivated by the love of Christ, and we fume at our children not because they break God’s law but because they break ours.  

 I am so thankful for how the Gospel frees me from seeking glory in my parenting or in my kids.  My children, although they probably can’t articulate it yet, are relieved that when I treasure Jesus, they are freed from the burden of being the center of my world.  No child should have to shoulder the weight of her mother’s glory and reputation.

Every mother can be freed from seeking her own glory as she loves her children for the sake of Jesus’ name being made famous among the nations.

Spiritual counsel that has “empty calories” or is devoid of rich, biblical doctrine cannot and will not satisfy a soul that was made to be satisfied only with an infinite God.

Motherhood is physically exhausting, emotionally draining work.  Where can a mother find the strength she needs to serve her family?  From God, who is “able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work (2 Cor. 9:8).  Even when our back gives out and our body is tired, God can strengthen mothers “with all power, according to His glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy” (Col. 1:11).  Thanksgiving is the proper response to God as He extends to us all the inheritance of grace we have in Christ (Col. 1:12).

I remembered that motherhood is not a blessing given to me because I deserve it.  It isn’t a reward for my good deeds or (as some might suggest) a sentencing for my bad deeds.  God made me a mother because He jealously and rightly desires praise for His own name, and this is how He saw fit to do it.

God’s grace is sufficient for everything He has called us to.  “And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work (2 Cor. 9:8).  God makes all grace abound to us through His Son, Jesus.  And it’s through the strength of His indwelling Holy Spirit that we are able to abound in (not just drag through) every good work He lays in front of us.  And as we work, we work with an eye toward eternity, knowing that our work is not in vain in the Lord.  “Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain” (1 Cor. 15:58).

What is Motherhood?

Motherhood is a piece of evidence of God’s triumphant agenda to give life despite the curse of death.  It is a gift that points us to Jesus.  As life marches on to the praise of God’s glory, we see a riveting display of the grace of our Father, who will fulfill His promise to give His Son an inheritance of nations to the praise of His glory. There’s no greater goal than that.

At the end of every day - chaotic and mundane alike  - motherhood is about the adoration and enjoyment of our great God. 

An Open Letter to My Newly Married Self

My latest article for InsideOut magazine is now up on their website.  It is entitled, "An Open Letter to My Newly Married Self."  You can read it by clicking this link.

Enjoy!

Thankful Thursday

I read this yesterday (on Thursday) and was so touched by the beauty of the words as they stated just what Christ has provided for us. I am truly thankful!  Had to share...

Hard Times, Honest Confessions, and Hope in the Home that is Coming

I think I first heard this song from Laura Story on my Pandora station about a year and a half ago.  I clearly remember being deeply touched by its beautiful melody and stirring lyrics.  I was impressed that someone would have the courage to write a song so counter-cultural to the anti-suffering, instant-gratification, health-and-wealth version of modern Christianity which has permeated our society.

It's one thing, though, to like a song.
It's another thing to actually live it.

A couple of days ago, Blessings again gently drifted across my Pandora station.  I hadn't heard it in months, and this time, the beautiful melody and stirring lyrics stopped me dead in my tracks.  As I stood at the kitchen sink listening, I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes...

We pray for healing, for prosperity

We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

That prayer for healing and for His mighty hand to ease my suffering?  Um, yeah.  I know about that one.  I have been praying it for over three months.

You see, about five weeks after Isaac was born, and likely due to childbirth, a case of internal hemorrhoids manifested themselves.  (I know; it's a rather private topic to discuss on a blog, but in an effort to be real about life's tribulations, I'm just going to go ahead and say it like it is.)  At the time, I didn't know hemorrhoids were what I was dealing with...in fact, I didn't even know such things existed!  I thought my problem was something else.

I did some research and started trying to treat my condition with home remedies to ease the constipation, discomfort, and pain I was suddenly experiencing.  I tried one thing after another: prune juice, more fruits and veggies and whole grains, increasing my water intake to one gallon a day, sitz baths, stool softeners, essential oils, etc.  But instead of getting better, my problem just got worse.

And all the while, You hear each spoken need

Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

I had never experienced pain like this before.  Excruciating and agonizing don't even begin to describe the feeling.  It totally trumped childbirth ten times over.  Things got so bad that every time I had a you-know-what, it was like knives sliced through me, after which, a fire burned inside of very sensitive tissue for the rest of the day.  And then, the same thing would happen all over again the next day.  Needless to say, I dreaded going to the bathroom.  In fact, some mornings, I just plain dreaded getting out of bed and facing the torture that the day was bound to bring.

Recognizing that things were not improving, I finally called our family doctor in desperation.  I told her what I thought I was dealing with and she recommended coming in for an exam.  In the meantime, she told me to increase my fiber to 30-40 grams per day.  When I actually started counting grams, I realized that previously, my diet had been greatly lacking in this department!

I consciously began eating the right amount of fibrous foods (and continuing with all the other home remedies) and was so encouraged to see immediate improvement!  For a few days, that is.

It was the doctor's exam which revealed the problem to be hemorrhoids.  While I had heard this word before and encountered it in my research, I didn't really know what hemorrhoids were or anything about them.  (Enter more research!)

Armed with a topical prescription cream to start using and the encouragement that the fiber had been making a big difference, I went home with hope in my heart that this problem would begin to heal and life could return to normal.

Actually, no.
Instead, my pain only seemed to get worse...if that was even possible.  Proverbs 13:12 says, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick..." That definitely described my emotional condition.  As my hopes for recovery were once again shattered, the discouragement I had been fighting for many weeks seemed to settle over me like an ominous black cloud.  I cried many tears because of the pain and the overwhelming feeling of despair.

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear

We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near

We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love...

My thoughts were in a constant whirlwind.  My theology says that God is in control and while He could heal me, He certainly didn't have to.   At the same time, as a mother, I couldn't imagine watching my child suffer excruciating pain day after day and not do everything I possibly could to bring him relief.  So, why didn't God do the same for me?  He is my Father, after all!  I knew I was supposed to trust Him and give thanks in all things, and I really did try...but it didn't seem to help my despair.

Oh, how the thoughts did tumble and the doubts rage!
Would I ever get better? Would I have to deal with hemorrhoids every time I had a baby?  How could I keep enduring this terrible pain day after day?  What kind of mother could I be if all I could do each day was feed and diaper my child in between taking hot baths?  God, I don't know what to do!  Please help me!  I'm mad at You because You could heal me, yet you aren't healing me.  Yet, I am ashamed to admit I'm mad because You are God and You know best and You are worthy to be trusted!  I know suffering is a part of life, but this is not the kind of suffering I had in mind!  This is not the kind of suffering I read about in Your Word.  At least suffering for one's faith is a noble and worthy cause.  But suffering with hemorrhoids??? I'm guessing this is a test, but I don't know to what purpose and I'm confused and hurting...

As if every promise from Your word is not enough

And all the while, You hear each desperate plea

And long that we'd have faith to believe

As these thoughts tumbled and the days passed and the pain became more raw, another doctor's exam showed that my hemorrhoids had multiplied and some were now ulcerated.  At least there was an explanation for the increase in pain.  I was given a second prescription cream to start using...
...and then...

a breakthrough.

I'm not exactly sure when the black cloud started lifting, but I think it was around the time of my birthday.  The phone calls with dear friends and family, the comments you all wrote in, the conversations with many who knew exactly what I was going through and had advice to share...it was all like a breath of fresh air!  Encouragement can mean so, so much!

In addition to the hot baths, high fiber diet, and prescription creams I was using, I began adding the various other natural remedies people suggested to my daily routine.  These in turn led to more research and more ideas until I soon had a long list on the fridge of all the different "treatments" beneficial to healing hemorrhoids.  At that point, I was willing to try just about anything that would lead to recovery.

The spark of hope in my heart that sputtered out so many times over the months is burning once again.  Recently, I've had several days of very minimal pain and have been able to function normally, attending to my husband, household, and baby!  This relief from the pain has also brought tremendous encouragement to my soul.

Additionally, I have been reminded this past week that my issue, while incredibly difficult to muddle through, is not nearly so hard compared to what some people deal with.  A visit to a 93-year-old church member who is on oxygen for life because of a mistake doctors made and who probably won't ever heal from recently broken vertebrae due to her age was a rebuke to me as I observed her constant cheerfulness.  A Facebook update on a new mother who is battling stage 4 cancer was an admonition to be grateful that I am not facing a fatal disease or agressive chemo therapy treatments just as a new baby entered my life.

Yes, even though my life has been fraught with physical difficulty that has taken its toll on my emotions, there really is so much to be thankful for.

Even though I've had some good days of late, I'm not by any means fully recovered.  In fact, today was another hard day of burning, stinging pain that lasted for hours on end in which I could do little more than feed and diaper my child in between various types of baths and treatments.  But thanks to the encouragement I've been receiving, the healing I think I am starting to experience, and the disappearance of the dark cloud overhead, the day was a little easier to endure.

This issue with painful hemorrhoids and a big question mark over how long it will be before I am totally better certainly makes these words from the song Blessings ring true in my heart!

When darkness seems to win

We know that pain reminds this heart

That this is not,

This is not our home

As my husband constantly reminds me in sermons and personal conversations, the only true hope we have in life is the coming resurrection. This world is cursed and sin wreaks havoc every day.  There is great suffering, trial, and tribulation.  But those whose faith rests in the Lord Jesus and his substitutionary death on the cross in their place will one day leave this all behind and live in perfect bodies free of pain in the presence of God forever.  Home is coming!

What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life

Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy

What if trials of this life

The rain, the storms, the hardest nights

Are your mercies in disguise?

Reflections from a Newlywed

Here is a little something I wrote for the Inside Out Blog regarding some of the things I have been thinking about as a newlywed. :)  I hope it is an encouragement especially to you single girls!

Jewels from Jeremiah part 3

"Thus saith the Lord; Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the Lord...

Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord and whose hope the Lord is."

(Jeremiah 17:5, 7)

I love this contrast. We have a choice. We can either choose to trust in ourselves or to trust in the Lord. One person is cursed; the other blessed. O may it not ever be said that our hearts depart from the Lord by trusting in ourselves! Only God alone is worthy of our trust!

~~~~~

"Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved: for Thou art my praise." (Jeremiah 17:14)

God is the Healer. God is the Savior. God is my Praise!

~~~~~

"Sing unto the Lord, praise ye the Lord: for He hath delivered the soul of the poor from the hand of the evildoers." (Jeremiah 20:13)

There are many similar verses to this one all throughout Scripture and every time I read one, I am blessed by God's heart for the poor. Especially after being in Bolivia and seeing so many poor and oppressed people, and hearing so many sad stories about our little children's backgrounds and the evil they experienced, verses like these give me great hope that God still knows and still cares. Shall the Judge of all the earth not do right?

~~~~~

"Behold, the days come, saith the Lord, that I will raise unto David a righteous Branch, and a King shall reign and prosper, and shall execute judgment and justice in the earth. In His days Judah shall be saved, and Israel shall dwell safely: and this is His Name whereby He shall be called, THE LORD OUR RIGHTEOUSNESS. (Jeremiah 23:5-6)

What a powerful description of our Lord Jesus Christ!

~~~~~

"Can any hide himself in secret places that I shall not see him? saith the Lord. Do not I fill heaven and earth? saith the Lord." (Jeremiah 23:4)

Yes, He does fill heaven and earth! In fact, the universe cannot contain Him! How great is our God! We would do well to remember that His eyes are in every place beholding the evil and the good. Be sure your sin will find you out. We cannot hide from God!

~~~~~

"Thus saith the Lord, the God of Israel; Like these good figs, so will I acknowledge them that are carried away captive of Judah, whom I have sent out of this place into the land of the Chaldeans for their good. For I will set mine eyes upon them for good, and I will bring them again to this land...and I will give them an heart to know me, that I am the Lord..." (Jeremiah 24:5-7)

I love the reminder in this prophetic verse about Judah that God's chastening is always for the good of His people. The Israelites were taken into captivity as the consequence for their sin against God, but this consequence was for their good in order to bring them to a point of repentance and restoration with the Lord. So it is with chastening and correction in our lives. I also love to always see God's longing for His people to know Him. He is such a personal, relationship-oriented God! How privileged we are to know Him because of His grace!

~~~~~

"And ye shall seek Me and find Me, when ye shall search for Me with all your heart." (Jeremiah 29:13)

Even though this promise was written specifically for the Jews following their period of captivity in Babylon, I believe that the principle behind it applies today as well. Let us seek the Lord with all our hearts! He is worthy.

Jewels from Jeremiah (part 2)

"To whom shall I speak, and give warning, that they may hear? behold, their ear is uncircumcised, and they cannot hearken: behold, the word of the Lord is unto them a reproach; they have no delight in it." Jeremiah 6:10

No delight in the Word of God? The words of the Living Almighty a reproach?

The Spanish translation puts it a little differently: His Word is an embarrassing thing and they do not love it.

I wince inwardly when I read these words. No wonder Jeremiah wanted to pour out the fulness of his fury on such a people (verse 11)!

Yet, how often have I been guilty of the same thing? Of uncircumcised ears that didn't want to hear my God's instructions? Of treating His Word reproachfully? Of choosing not to read it because "I was too busy" or just not interested?

I know this has happened more than once. And I hang my head in sorrow and shame, for I see the piercing sorrow it creates in the heart of my Creator.

May God grant me the strength and resolve to always delight in His Word; to always approach Holy Scripture with an ear to hear; to never be ashamed or embarrassed to say, "Thus saith the Lord!"

~~~

"Thus saith the Lord, Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, neither let the mighty man glory in his might, let not the rich man glory in his riches: but let him that glorieth glory in this, that he understandeth and knoweth Me, that I am the Lord which exercise loving-kindness, judgment, and righteousness in the earth: for in these things I delight, saith the Lord." Jeremiah 9:23-24

These are some of my favorite words in all of Scripture! I love the fact that God is so personal. That He longs to be known and understood! This is the deepest desire of my heart: to know Him and love Him more each day.

~~~

"Forasmuch as there is none like unto Thee, O Lord; Thou art great, and Thy name is great in might. Who would not fear thee, O King of nations?...forasmuch as among all the wise men of the nations, and in all their kingdoms, there is none like unto Thee...The Lord is the true God, He is the living God, and an everlasting King: at His wrath the earth shall tremble, and the nations shall not be able to abide His indignation.

He hath made the earth by His power, He hath established the world by His wisdom, and hath stretched out the heavens by His discretion. When He uttereth His voice, there is a multitude of waters in the heavens, and He causeth the vapors to ascend from the ends of the earth; He maketh lightnings with rain, and bringeth forth the wind out of His treasures." Jeremiah 10:6-12

~~~

"For the pastors are become brutish, and have not sought the Lord: therefore they shall not prosper, and all their flocks shall be scattered." Jeremiah 10:21

The recipe for success and prosperity in God's definition of the terms?

Seek the Lord.

Jesus confirms this principle in Matthew 6:33 - "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you."

~~~

"But Thou, O Lord, knowest me: Thou hast seen me, and tried mine heart toward thee..." Jeremiah 12:3

When I first read this verse the other morning, it seemed to leap off the page at me! What a wonderful comfort to know that the trials God allows in my life are to pull my heart toward Him!

I feel like these last six months in Bolivia have contained a lot of trials. Yet, I can truly see how each one of them has turned my heart more and more toward my God and drawn me closer to Him. What a blessing that He knows me, sees me, and uses the trials to deepen our relationship.

~~~

"This evil people, which refuse to hear my words, which walk in the imagination of their heart, and walk after other gods, to serve them, and to worship them, shall even be as this girdle, which is good for nothing. For as the girdle cleaveth to the loins of a man, so have I caused to cleave unto me the whole house of Israel and the whole house of Judah, saith the Lord; that they might be unto me for a people, and for a name, and for a praise, and for a glory: but they would not hear." Jeremiah 13:10-11

This truly is tragedy defined.

~~~

"Thy words were found, and I did eat them; and Thy Word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart: for I am called by Thy name, O Lord God of hosts." Jeremiah 15:16

Nothing feeds and nourishes the heart like the Word of God! O taste and see that the Lord is good!

Jewels from Jeremiah (part 1)

Throughout the month of December, I have been reading the book of Jeremiah and finding many wonderful jewels tucked in its pages! I thought I would share a few here today.

"Then the Word of the Lord came unto me saying, Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations." Jeremiah 1:5

This verse reminds me of God's omniscience, knowing all before it happens, and of His sovereignty, planning all the details of our lives before we're even born. It's incredibly awe-inspiring to think on these things...

~~~

"Be not afraid of their faces, for I am with thee to deliver thee, saith the Lord." Jeremiah 1:8

How often we look to a person's face for approval! So much is communicated in the face. A good reminder to be a God-pleaser rather than a people-pleaser.

~~~

"For behold, I have made thee this day a defensed city,

and an iron pillar,

and brazen walls against the whole land...

and they shall fight against thee; but they shall not prevail against thee;

for I am with thee, saith the Lord, to deliver thee."

Jeremiah 1:18-19

A good reminder that when God is for us, none can prevail against us. God always makes for a majority! There is great security in His will.

~~~

"They that handle the law knew me not...they walked after things that do not profit....wherefore I will yet plead with you, saith the Lord...my people have changed their glory for that which doth not profit." Jeremiah 2:8, 9, 11

This passage shows me how very much God wants to be known by His people. It is paramount in His heart. Also, I am reminded of the importance of walking after things that profit.

~~~

"For my people have committed two evils; they have forsaken Me the Fountain of Living Waters, and hewed them out cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water." Jeremiah 2:13

This verse really captivated my attention. God considers it an evil to forsake Him (see also verse 19). He does not want to be forsaken but rather sought after, pursued, believed in! This verse reminds me so much of the majority of people today. Rather than trust in the Lord God , and drink satisfied from His living waters, they are trusting in their own broken merits and trying to seek satisfaction from the wrong sources. Such sadness to the heart of God.

~~~

"But thou hast played the harlot with many lovers; yet return again to Me, saith the Lord...Wilt thou not from this time cry unto Me, My Father, Thou art the Guide of my youth?...Return, thou backsliding Israel, saith the Lord; and I will not cause mine anger to fall upon you; for I am merciful, saith the Lord and I will not keep anger forever." Jeremiah 3:1, 4, 12

As I read these verses and I see God's heart for His people, despite her unfaithfulness, I am overwhelmed by the incredible depths of God's mercy for me! His goodness is indescribable!

~~~

"The Lord liveth, in truth, in judgment, and in righteousness; and the nations shall bless themselves in Him, and in Him shall they glory." Jeremiah 4:2

I love this description of the Lord as well as the reminder that there is nothing else worth glorying in besides Him!

Hardships and Blessings

"To him will I give the land that he hath trodden upon...because he hath wholly followed the Lord." (Deut. 1:36)

Every hard duty that lies in your path, that you would rather not do, that will cost you pain and struggle or sore effort to do, has a blessing in it. Not to do it, at whatever cost, is to miss the blessing.

Every hard piece of road on which you see the Master's shoe-prints and along which He bids you follow Him, surely leads to blessing, which you cannot get if you cannot go over the steep, thorny path.

Every point of battle to which you come, where you must draw your sword and fight the enemy, has a possibly victory which will prove a rich blessing to your life. Every heavy load that you are called to lift hides in itself some strange secret of strength. - J.R. Miller

- Today's reading from Streams in the Desert.

This passage really spoke to me today because I have found its words so true in my six month sojourn here in Bolivia. There have been hard duties, struggles, and sacrifices, yet many, many blessings and lessons learned along the way that I know I never would have experienced otherwise. Praising God today for His sovereign working in my life and His all-sufficient grace that is enough. No matter what.

Oil Along the Way

"Put on as the elect of God, kindness." (Colossians 3:12)

There is a story of an old man who carried a little can of oil with him everywhere he went, and if he passed through a door that squeaked, he poured a little oil on the hinges. If a gate was hard to open, he oiled the latch. And thus he passed through life lubricating all hard places and making it easier for those who came after him.

People called him eccentric, queer, and cranky; but the old man went steadily on refilling his can of oil when it became empty, and oiled the hard places he found.

There are many lives that creak and grate harshly as they live day by day. Nothing goes right with them. They need lubricating with the oil of gladness, gentleness, or thoughtfulness. Have you your own can of oil with you? Be ready with your oil of helpfulness in the early morning to the one nearest you. It may lubricate the whole day for him. The oil of good cheer to the downhearted one - Oh, how much it may mean! The word of courage to the desparing. Speak it.

Our lives touch others but once, perhaps, on the road of life; and then, mayhap, our ways diverge, never to meet again. The oil of kindness has worn the sharp, hard edges off of many a sin-hardened life and left it soft and pliable and ready for the redeeming grace of the Savior.

A word spoken pleasantly is a large spot of sunshine on a sad heart. Therefore, "Give others the sunshine, tell Jesus the rest."

"We cannot know the grief

That men borrow;

We cannot see the souls

Storm-swept by sorrow;

But love can shine upon the way

Today, tomorrow;

Let us be kind.

Upon the wheel of pain so many weary lives are broken,

We live in vain who give no tender token.

Let us be kind."

"Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love." (Romans 12:10)

- Streams in the Desert

The Mommy-For-A-Month Chronicles #7

Final Installment

Well, my month at Casa de Amor House 3 officially came to an end on Wednesday with the arrival of the Mitchell family from their furlough in the States. It was such a special time spent with five precious children, and definitely the highlight of my time in Bolivia so far!

One of the things I enjoyed so much about being a mommy for a month was the better understanding it gave me of the heart God has for us as Father. As I went about my days mothering little ones, I learned:

- Just as voluntary gratefulness expressed by the children pleased me and brought a smile to my face, a thankful spirit and expressions of gratefulness pleases our Father greatly.

"It is a good thing to give thanks unto the Lord, and to sing praises unto Thy Name, O Most High." (Psalm 92:1)

- Just as it thrilled me to see growth in the lives of the children as they reached milestones, conquered fears, and learned new skills, it thrills the heart of our Father God to see spiritual growth in His children's lives.

"But grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." (2 Peter 3:18)

- Just as I constantly tried to teach the children not to whine or complain, God doesn't want us as His children to whine or complain.

"Do all things without murmurings and disputings." (Philippians 2:14)

- Patience is so very key when training children, and although I often failed in this area and demonstrated impatience with my little charges, God is never that way with us. He is oh-so-very-patient and longsuffering always.

"But Thou, O Lord, art a God full of compassion, and gracious, long suffering, and plenteous in mercy and truth." (Psalm 86:15)

- Just as I tried to instill in the children the importance of immediate obedience the first time they received an instruction, first-time obedience pleases our Father greatly. When His promptings come from the Holy Spirit nudging our hearts, whispering to our consciences, or shouting to us from the pages of Scripture, we would do well to obey instantly, for this demonstrates our love for the Lord.

"If ye love Me, keep my commandments." (John 14:15)

What a privilege to know this God as Father and to be His very own child!

The other night, as I was reading the November 26 passage from Streams in the Desert, these words seemed to leap off the page and grab my heart!

*****

"And Caleb said unto her, What wouldest thou? Who answered, give me a blessing; for thou has given me a south land; give me also springs of water. And he gave her the upper springs, and the nether springs." (Joshua 15:18, 19)

There are both upper and nether springs. They are springs, not stagnant pools. There are joys and blessings that flow from above through the hottest summer and the most desert land of sorrow and trial. The land of Achsah were "south lands," lying under a burning sun and often parched with burning heat. But from the hills came the unfailing springs, that cooled, refreshed, and fertilized all the land.

There are springs that flow in the low places of life, in the hard places, in the desert places, in the lone places, in the common places, and no matter what my be our situation, we can always find these upper springs.

Abraham found them amid the hills of Canaan. Moses found them among the rocks of Midian. David found them among the ashes of Ziklag when his property was gone, his family captives and his people talked of stoning him, but "David encouraged himself in the Lord."

Habakkuk found them when the fig tree was withered and the fields were brown, but as he drank from them he could sing: "Yet will I rejoice in the Lord and joy in the God of my salvation."

Isaiah found them in the awful days of Sennacherib's invasion, when the mountains seemed hurled into the midst of the sea, but faith could sing: "There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God. God is in the midst of her: she shall not be moved."

The martyrs found them amid the flames, and reformers amid their foes and conflicts, and we can find them all the year if we have the Comforter in our hearts and have learned to say with David: "All my springs are in Thee."

How many and how precious these springs, and how much more there is to be possessed of God's own fulness!

- A.B. Simpson

I could add to that.

Katrina found them in the mountains of Cochabamba.

Learning to Be a Lion Chaser

I had a wonderful time writing my November article for the InsideOut Girl's blog as it helped me define in black and white some of the things God has been doing in my heart and life as a result of reading a life-impacting book. You can read Part 1 here and Part 2 here. Hope it's a blessing!

October Article at InsideOut Girl

Just wanted to let you know that for my October article at InsideOut Girl, the Lord led me to write on the topic of Decision Making and the Will of God. If you are interested in reading it, click here and here.

Mark Cahill's Latest Newsletter

I received this newsletter from Mark Cahill last week and thought it was worth sharing! It seemed like a good follow-up to the Discourse on the Word Calling as well as practical inspiration for all of us to share our faith no matter where we live or what we do. Enjoy!

What is Full Time Ministry? So, we are about halfway through the summer now: How is your witnessing going? This is turning into a fascinating summer for me! I have been meeting so many people and have had amazing conversations about the Lord! One atheist I met told me he was having his bachelor party in Las Vegas just to ‘sin’ for the weekend! Wasn’t that an interesting way to phrase it? Even he knew what he was going to be doing wasn’t right. He knew right from wrong! He told me he was a pretty hardcore atheist, but that he would read my book and get back in touch with me. I’m excited to hear his thoughts. I went to a couple of baseball games in St. Louis to watch the Cardinals play, and one of my friends who plays for the team told me he was watching me in the stands witnessing! I had so many neat conversations in those stands. I have already gotten two emails from people that I met at the games! One of the conversations was with a Muslim man from Iraq who is a dentist here in the States now. We had the most interesting talk about religion that lasted for several innings. It was like the game didn’t exist. He was such a nice man. Actually, he was one of the nicest men I have ever met before. Friendly, kind, generous, loving towards all, and he has even been on medical mission trips with Christian organizations. But of course, we know that it is not by works that someone gets to heaven. That is why we talked about who the Biblical Jesus is. I want to make sure this man is born again and saved before he dies. You see when I was at that baseball game, I was actually in full time ministry. But there is a common misperception that really needs to be corrected as we head toward the return of Jesus Christ. People always ask me, “How can I get into full time ministry?” What people are forgetting is that if you are breathing, and you are born again, you are already in full time ministry! Satan is just tricking you into thinking that you are not. Remember in Matthew 28:19, 20 when Jesus said, “Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.” People call that the Great Commission, and that is every Christian’s call into full time ministry! That is why I stand at my front door and pray each day before I walk out it. Because I know when I head out that door, I must be in full time ministry mode. Just today, I had this great talk with Joe, who grew up Catholic, but now doesn’t really believe in much at all. It was a great talk about our Lord. He even told me that there is another Christian man who has been witnessing to him! I get so excited when I get to water a seed that someone else has already planted! Praise the Lord for those folks who are in full time ministry everywhere they go! Today I also met someone in the Atlanta airport who told me that I sat next to his dad a year or two ago on a plane flight!! Isn’t that an amazing “coincidence”? Kyle said he was so glad that we met, and he knew that it was meant to be. I am so glad that I was in full time ministry mode when I left the house both today and nearly two years ago when I met Kyle’s father! Last night, I had this incredible talk with a waiter. Justin grew up Catholic, but his girlfriend is Christian. He told me that she is trying to ‘get him saved!’ So we talked about what that meant, and why you need to do it. He had so, so many good questions. Oh, by the way, he wasn’t even my waiter! I am so glad that I was in full time ministry mode at the restaurant last night. Moms and Dads: You are in full time ministry all day, every day with your kids. Students and Teachers: You are in full time ministry all of the time as you interact with fellow students and teachers. One football player I know reads his Bible at his locker. He told me that so many times another player has walked over and asked what he was reading and that it leads to the most amazing conversations! I know one teacher who talks about Jesus in her classroom. She tells the kids if they want to get in depth about it to come to her room at 3:31—one minute after the bell rings! She told me that many times she has had a line of students at her door at the end of school! Businessmen and women: You are in full time ministry mode representing the Lord when you do business in a Christian manner versus doing it the world’s way. I know a doctor who witnesses to every single one of his patients!! I can’t tell you the number of doctors, physical therapists, chiropractors and business folks who have my books in their waiting rooms or lobbies for their patients or customers. I have heard from folks who have picked up a book at one of those places, and God used it to impact their lives. Workers: You are in full time ministry every day. It is your job to share your faith and act like a Christian should in the workplace. When I was teaching at a Christian school, I hired a former professional baseball player to speak at an athletic banquet. As we spoke before the event, he told me that he worked for a cable company and laid cable. Inside, I was wondering, why do you do that? I, of course, thought that he was a millionaire from his pro baseball days, but then I started wondering how he had lost all his money. I shouldn’t have made that assumption. He looked at me and said, “I lay cable, because it gets me into people’s homes, so that I can talk to them about Jesus!” I can’t even begin to tell you how humbled I was. Here was this amazing, faithful man of God who stood for the Lord every single day in his ‘regular’ life. Why? Because he was in full time ministry mode everywhere he went. A lady emailed the ministry recently and said that she had been struggling a lot with things in life. God sent her a Christian dishwasher repairman who witnessed to her and encouraged her. I am so glad that man realizes that he is in full time ministry. Do you remember the great story of Jesus and the woman at the well? In John 4:6-10, it says: “Now Jacob’s well was there. Jesus therefore, being wearied with his journey, sat thus on the well: and it was about the sixth hour. There cometh a woman of Samaria to draw water: Jesus saith unto her, Give me to drink. (For his disciples were gone away unto the city to buy meat.) Then saith the woman of Samaria unto him, How is it that thou, being a Jew, askest drink of me, which am a woman of Samaria? for the Jews have no dealings with the Samaritans. Jesus answered and said unto her, If thou knewest the gift of God, and who it is that saith to thee, Give me to drink; thou wouldest have asked of him, and he would have given thee living water.” Jesus was tired from the journey. He stopped to sit and get a drink of water. But even when He was tired and thirsty, He was in full time ministry mode, and that allowed one of the greatest stories in all of Scripture to occur. Why? Because the soul of that woman was more important to Him than that drink of water! The great story of Paul and Felix in the book of Acts has always fascinated me. When Paul got before Felix, he began to speak truth. Acts 24:24,25 states, “And after certain days, when Felix came with his wife Drusilla, which was a Jewess, he sent for Paul, and heard him concerning the faith in Christ. And as he reasoned of righteousness, temperance, and judgment to come, Felix trembled, and answered, Go thy way for this time; when I have a convenient season, I will call for thee.” Paul was in full time ministry mode. He was going to speak truth to Felix no matter what. Of course, he wanted to be set free, but Felix and Drusilla’s souls were much, much more important to Paul at that point than his freedom. As one of my friends puts it, ‘ministry is not an occupation but a commandment’! Remember that full time ministry isn’t working at a church or a seminary or traveling and speaking at conferences. I have known so many people who work at places like that who become completely stagnant. They lose their zeal; they lose their passion. Why? They are completely removed from lost people. They get away from the great thrill of planting seeds with the lost. Don’t let that happen to you! You do not want to be lukewarm. Remember that if you are born again and breathing, you are in full time ministry every day! It leads to a very fascinating and satisfying life. Until the nets are full,

Eucharisteo - A Word to Live By

In the midst of a week of trials and challenges unlike any I’ve experienced previously, God has given me hope and joy. His Word has been my strength; His presence my comfort.

I started reading the book One Thousand Gifts and found its artfully crafted words to resonate within my soul, meeting me right where I am, and renewing my spirit.

Let me share a few of the author’s beautiful passages with you.

“I remember once sitting at the hairdresser’s. The woman beside me reads, and I read her title in the reflection of the mirror: 1,000 Places to See Before You Die. Is that it? Are there physical places that simply must been seen before I stop breathing within tim, before I inhale eternity?

Why? To say that I’ve had reason to bow low? To say that I’ve seen beauty? To say that I’ve been arrested by wonder?

Isn’t it here? Can’t I find it here?...

Isn’t it here? The wonder? Why do I spend so much of my living hours struggling to see it? Do we truly stumble so blind that we must be affronted with blinding magnificence for our blurry soul-sight to recognize grandeur? The very same surging magnificence that cascades over our every day here. Who has time or eyes to notice?

All my eyes can seem to fixate on are the splatters of disappointment across here and me.

I close the bathroom linen closet. Pick up a brush to swish toilets. I don’t need more time to breath so that I may experience more locales, posses more, accomplish more. Because wonder really could be here - for the seeing eyes.

So - more time for more what?

The face of Jesus flashes. Jesus, the God-Man with His own termination date. Jesus, the God-Man who came to save me from prisons of fear and guilt and depression and sadness. With an expiration of less than twelve hours, what does Jesus count as all most important?

“And He took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them...” (Luke 22:19)

In the original language, “he gave thanks” reads “eucharisteo.”

The root word of eucharisteo is charis, meaning “grace.” Jesus took the bread and saw it as grace and gave thanks. He took the bread and knew it to be gift and gave thanks.

But there is more, and I read it. Eucharisteo, thanksgiving, envelopes the Greek word for grace, charis. But it also holds its derivative, the Greek word chara, meaning “joy.” Joy. Ah...yes. I might be needing me some of that.

But where can I seize this holy grail of joy? I look down to the page. Was this the clue to the quest of all most important? Deep chara joy is found only at the table of the euCHARisteo - the table of thanksgiving. I sit there long...wondering...is it that simple?

Is the height of my chara joy dependent on the depths of my eucharisteo thanks?

So then as long as thanks is possible...I think this through. As long as thanks is possible, then joy is always possible. Joy is always possible. Whenever, meaning - now; wherever, meaning - hear. The holy grail of joy is not in some exotic location or some emotional mountain peak experience. The joy wonder could be here! Here is the messy, piercing ache of now, joy might be - unbelievably - possible! The only place we need see before we die is this place of seeing God, here and now.

I whisper it out loud, let the tongue feel these sounds, the ear hear their truth.

Charis. Grace.

Eucharisteo. Thanksgiving.

Chara. Joy

A triplet of stars, a constellation in the black. A threefold cord that might hold a life? Offer a way up into the fullest life?

Grace, thanksgiving, joy. Eucharisteo.

A Greek word...that might make meaning of everything?

~~~~~~

I stand the next morning on planks of light lying down across the floor, and I bake bread, yeasty dough moist between my fingers, and that one word works me, again and again - eucharisteo. I won’t let it go this time. I’ll enter into the mystery.

I shape loaves and think how Jesus took the bread and gave thanks...and then the miracle of the multiplying of the loaves and fishes.

How Jesus took the bread and gave thanks..and then the miracle of Jesus enduring the cross for the joy set before Him.

How Jesus stood outside Lazarus’s tomb, the tears streaming down HIs face, and He looked up and prayed, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me...” (John 11:41) And then the miracle of a dead man rising! Thanksgiving raises the dead! .....

I read: “The only real fall of man is his noneucharistic life in a noneucharistic world.” That was the fall! Non-eucharisteo, ingratitude, was the fall - humanity’s discontent with all that God freely gives. That is what has scraped me raw: ungratefulness. Then to find Eden, the abundance of Paradise, I’d need to forsake my non-eucharisteo, my bruised and bloodied ungrateful life, and grab hold to eucharisteo, a lifestyle of thanksgiving....

~~~~~~

Luke’s Gospel, chapter 17....I think I know this one. Jesus restores ten lepers to wholeness. And only one returns to offer thanks. I remember the moral too... “How often do you remember to say thanks?” Yes I think I know this one.

I skim.

“One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him - and he was a Samaritan.” (Luke 17:15-16) Yes thankfulness, I know. Next verse.

“Jesus asked, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?” Then He said to him, “Rsie and go; your faith has made you well.” (Luke 17:17-19)

Wait. I trace back. Hadn’t Jesus already completely healed him? Exactly like the other nine who were cured who hadn’t bothered to return and thank HIm. So what does Jesus mean, “Your faith has made you well?” Hand I underinterpreted this passage, missed some hidden mystery? I slow down and dig. I read Jesus’ words in Young’s Literal Translation, “And [Jesus] said to him, ‘Having risen, be going on, thy faith has saved thee.” Saved thee? I dig deeper. It’s sozo in the Greek. Many translations render sozo as being made “well” or “whole,” but its literal meaning, I read it - “to save.” Sozo means salvation. It means true wellness, complete wholeness. To live sozo is to live the full life. Jesus came that we might live life to the full; He came to give us sozo. And when the leper receive sozo - the saving to the full, whole life? When He returned and gave thanks. I lay down my pen.

Our very saving is associated with our gratitude.

But...of course. If our fall was the non-eucharisteo, the ingratitude, then salvation must be intimately related to eucharisteo, the giving of thanks.

I look back to the text. That is what it says: “Thy faith has saved thee.” And the leper’s faith was a faith that said thank you. Is that it? Jesus counts thanksgiving as integral in a faith that saves.

We only enter into the full life if our faith gives thanks.

Because how else do we accept His free gift of salvation if not with thanksgiving? Thanksgiving is the evidence of our acceptance of whatever He gives. Thanksgiving is the manifestation of our Yes! to His grace.

Thanksgiving is inherent to a true salvation experience; thanksgiving is necessary to live the well, whole, fullest life.

- Excerpt from chapter two in One Thousand Gifts, by Ann Voskamp