Well, this morning was just one of those mornings.
After four long days of caring for a sick, often fussy, constantly clingy baby, Isaac's incessant crying this morning really started to wear on me. I left the dining room to grab something from the kitchen for his breakfast, and he cried. I tried to take a shower while he played in his playpen in the bathroom, and he cried the entire time. After I finished getting ready for the day, I rescued him from the playpen and carried him around with me, and still he cried. Daddy came in briefly from a church work day and put him in his crib for some rest, and he cried and cried and cried.
My nerves were frazzled. I was ready to scream. I wanted to "pull my hair out" as the saying goes.
Here it was, Saturday morning, and I was ready to finally be productive; to exit survival mode and actually get some cleaning and organizing projects done around my house. Yet, my child's loud cries were making it difficult to think straight, let alone get anything done.
I realized at that moment that I had a choice before me. I could pursue my all-important projects and try to ignore Isaac's escalating cries...which I figured would be impossible since they filled the house and would probably only continue to frazzle my nerves until I exploded. Or I could pursue fellowship with my once-again-very-needy child (who it seemed had needed me at every waking moment of the week...and many of the sleeping ones, too, and had no concept of the fact that I was drained).
With the options before me in my mind's eye, the choice seemed obvious.
I was a mom first and foremost.
The projects had waited all this time; they could certainly wait some more. I didn't have a clue what was making my child so upset, but I knew I needed to try to comfort him; and besides, it was too early for a nap anyway, so there was no way he was going to go to sleep anytime soon.
With a sigh and a prayer, I picked Isaac up out of his bed and began to sooth his cries and wipe his tears. Then, I strapped him into the Ergo carrier with the mission to create "a sanity moment" for myself while giving him the close cuddling he seemed to need. I was desperate to regain some calmness in my soul, and my growling belly told me I had better make sure this little "sanity moment" included some food, too!
I turned on soothing music, popped some toast in the toaster, and brewed a cup of apple-cinnamon tea. The toast done, I smeared almond butter and honey on for a tasty snack, and then the two of us relaxed at the kitchen table.
It's amazing what a few moments of stopping to smell the roses (or in my case, the cinnamon-apple tea) can do for a person! The food and drink gave me strength, the music gave me peace, and the cuddles with my baby gave me assurance that choosing his needs over my own was the right decision.
Eventually, he did take his morning nap, allowing me to check off the first organizational project from my to-do list while he slept. When he woke up, we tackled another one in the bathroom together where I was able to de-stress by de-cluttering, and Isaac had a ball "getting into" all sorts of new treasures (i.e. trash) from under the bathroom counters! Then, with those projects behind us, we took a much-needed walk in the fresh air and sunshine. And what do you know? It turned out to be a most pleasant and productive day after all, despite the rocky beginning!
I share all this to let you know that despite the happy pictures I often share (like the ones below), not every day around here is perfect peaches and cream. I have my share of hard moments, rough days, and frazzled nerves, just like anybody. Yet, despite my failures and times of mommy-exhaustion, I am so grateful to be able to say that God is faithful all the time. He never fails, never grows weary, and never leaves me to flounder on my own. His mercies are new every morning, and His Word is the bread of strength for my needy soul.
I love being a mom and I truly delight in my child, but I am still learning every day what it means to be the kind of mom the Lord is pleased with; one who loves genuinely, unconditionally, and sacrificially. It is a journey to be sure - one of excitement, difficulty, long days, short nights, and immeasurable rewards!
~*~*~*~
And now for a few pictures of the ever-adorable child God has blessed us with! (The first several were taken before he got sick.)
Doesn't every mom have a picture of their child discovering the joys of toilet paper?
So that's why he was so quiet!
He managed to empty the entire roll before I realized he had gone missing!
Happy little ducky after bath time!
A new hat (albeit, a little small)!
Hammin' in up...
Trying to take it off.
Got it!
This picture cracks me up! I was trying to catch his "Alfalfa" look and instead, caught him blinking with the funniest expression! This was taken Day 1 of the stomach virus, but you wouldn't know it to see this face!
There's the "Alfalfa" look (see the hair sticking straight up?).
Another evening after he had thrown up all over me, himself, and the couch, while the couch cushions were drying in the hall, Isaac discovered what a fun climbing apparatus the couch became without that bulky cushion in the way!
King of the mountain.
Trying to stay hydrated.
A new little perch.
Yesterday, Nathan graciously offered to carry Isaac in the Ergo while he made dessert for youth game night.
Isaac loved this snuggle time with Daddy and had all sorts of questions about what was going on!
Poor little sickie-boy...
Love to see my man caring for his little boy!
